05 November 2023
Tiger Intears is my friend, and I know he hates mysterious things because (1) he is my friend and I know him well and (2) well he told me as much when I last recorded our conversations, which was in late 2020, in New York, right before Thanksgiving. He was gearing up to publish his writing for the first time, and I recall that the piece he wanted to put out sounded nothing like Stained Glass Sincerity, which is, as far is I’m concerned, nothing short of a contradiction: it is very mysterious—
Tiger: That can’t be how you’re starting this interview Julia.
Julia: It is how I’m starting this.
Tiger: [Laughs] what is—
Julia: This it though, right? This is your debut.
Tiger: The website as a whole feels like it’s more of a debut than the essay. It feels new in a way that I’ve only felt once before, which was when I shared my writing with friends for the first time.
Julia: And when was that?
Tiger: Around 2015.
Julia: So that was your true debut.
Tiger: This is crazy. What was your original question?
Julia: Is this the real thing? That’s what I’m trying to ask. I want to know if I can finally celebrate you Tiger.
Tiger: Yes, Stained Glass Sincerity, the website, this interview, that’s the big party. That’s the deluxe edition. The debut is all of it.
Julia: The debut is November 5th, 2023—
Tiger: Yes. [Laughs]. That’s it.
Julia: [Laughs]. I’m sorry and I love you. How are you doing?
Tiger: I’m good. I’m also tired.
Julia: How come?
Tiger: None of this is bringing me peace and I really thought it would—
Julia: This conversation isn’t?—
Tiger: No I meant the writing—the release of the writing, the publishing bit—
Julia: What did you think it would feel like?
Tiger: Better [Laughs]. It doesn’t matter—
Julia: It’s been eight hours—
Tiger: No it’s not that it—
Julia: Jesus—
Tiger: It’s just none of this is putting me at ease is what I mean to say. Nothing about this process feels clean.
Julia: It feels dirty?
Tiger: [Laughs] It just doesn’t feel clean Julia. It doesn’t feel great.
Julia: Is this a question of response—
Tiger: It’s got nothing to do with that. I’m just thinking in terms of other paths and what this step would look like. You are a visual artist and you get to have an opening. You make films and you get to host a screening of your latest work. You are a musician and you can set up an album release party. Life bleeds into the art and the art takes it back to life. Something like that.
Julia: So it’s a question of socializing.
Tiger: Sure. I think it is.
Julia: You get to put out a book and it’s a book release party.
Tiger: Just doesn’t hit the same now does it?
Julia: [Laughs]. So what are you really saying Tiger?
Tiger: I’m just tired. I’m sorry. We’ll run this interview back soon and I’ll be in a better mood.
Julia: No you’re good. What I’m trying to sit with though is that this is your debut, the work is out, is there anything you’d change about this?
Tiger: Not at all. I’m immensely proud of it, of Stained Glass Sincerity, which is very dear to me, or else I wouldn’t have put it out in this form. And the website stuff is new to me as I said earlier but I love it all so much. It’s my first time feeling like I’m presenting my work the way it’s meant to be presented.
Julia: In light mode on a laptop.
Tiger: Yes [Laughs].
Julia: Why does that matter so much?
Tiger: It encourages a proper encounter that way I guess. Focus is important and I doubt [inaudible].
Julia: What was that?
Tiger: What was what?
Julia: What did you just say?
Tiger: I was saying focus is crucial and I don’t think phones allow for that space—for an encounter that’s meaningful. Especially when it comes to reading.
Julia: Right sorry you were cutting up—
Tiger: I’m not trying to compete with notifications on anyone’s phone.
Julia: Right. But it’s not like you’re actively against people reading your work on the phone.
Tiger: No.
Julia: Or in dark mode.
Tiger: No.
Julia: And if my eyes start hurting in light mode.
Tiger: [Inaudible].
Julia: [Laughs].
Tiger: [Laughs].
Julia: So let’s take it back to Stained Glass Sincerity. Is there anything there that you wish you could emphasize more?
Tiger: Yes, that I love it more than you think, that it’s a work of love, that it took every bit of energy I have to come up with it, and that it’s a breakup work.
Julia: Just a run-of-the-mill breakup piece of writing—
Tiger: Exac—
Julia: Standard—
Tiger: —tly.
Julia: Love you. How are you doing?
Tiger: I’m better. Love you too.
Julia: What was that?
Tiger: I said I love you too. The sirens—
Julia: No I heard you. [Laughs]. Love you Tiger. I’m glad you’re better. Would you consider your writing heavy?
Tiger: No. It surprises me, though, and that’s all that matters. The world is cracked. It really is. The rate of bullshit is astounding. None of this feels sustainable. I’m just trying to be a mirror. What else is there to be? I don’t know—
Julia: No I hear you.
Tiger: Everyone keeps talking to me about pain and growth and all that but I’m so done with growing. [Laughs]. Really. Give me some warm stagnation.
Julia: And yet we move.
Tiger: We move. That’s it. That’s the real thing. It’s why I put out this work now. I’m just so happy I have a way to process stuff. It really is the greatest blessing.
Julia: What would be your greatest accomplishment?
Tiger: For my work to matter to someone far away, leading a very different life than mine. Everything else is secondary.
Julia: Like Pippen around Mike.
Tiger: That’s right. [Laughs]. That’s the feeling.
Julia: Love you Tiger. And your work has already mattered to someone far away living a different life than yours. You’ve arrived kid.
Tiger: Love you Julia. Let’s run this back when I’m better.
Julia: We will—